*Stock Action Music* *Zoom in on gay kid* *Ramp up in stock music* *Stock music and NFKRZ mating call* How’s it going everyone Hope you all had a fantastic New Year It’s 2017 The time for horrible Youtube trends And forced memes Apologies for not uploading for the past couple days *weird art approaches* I’ve been extremely busy A fair amount of travellin’ You know, I’m not quittin’ Youtube don’t worry I-I know a lot of Youtubers are making videos saying they’re taking a break No-nothing to do with uh, the Youtube Ad revenue being lowered January , no *Inhales snarkiness* Nothing at all. So I thought, I haven’t uploaded for a couple days And, my last video I uploaded was total shit I’m actually amazed it got a good like ratio It’s just me talking about a old video with no facecam cause I couldn’t get my camera to work *God himself* So I’m back, and I thought Let’s do somethin’ really good Something that is not forced Not over saturated And no one has ever done before So I thought. *The void* Why not a thousand degree knife challenge video? Now originally I was just going to play the clip of me Cutting my friends arm with a thousand degree CS:GO knife But unfortunately with that you can’t extend that to ten minutes Unless on of those like, We Are Number One parodies Uh, CS:GO cutting a friends arm but slowed to 0.01% And that wouldn’t really be entertainment So I-I thought talk about the whole A thousand degree knife craze Get it all in one video And then seal it away and quarantine it So hopefully it can never be seen again Now for those of you who don’t know You’re the lucky ones let me reassure you on that The thousand degree knife challenge Is when various people take a knife Usually the same knife T-the exact same knife Even if they use a different knife in the video they put the same one in the thumbnail because they’re scared of getting less views They get a knife, they heat it up with usually one blowtorch Then it becomes three Then six Then nine Cause one is just never enough They heat up the knife with the blowtorch until it glows *Gazes at knife with cruel intention* Usually it only glows a little bit Usually on the tip or something Uh, but in the thumbnail they’ll just open fuckin’ MS paint, spray paint the entire knife red so it look like it’s L i t e r a l l y About to melt in their hands Then these individuals take various stuff Ping pong balls, a deck of cards And then they cut through it usually while it makes a-a kinda squealing sound Like the deck of cards, being cut in two is screaming for dear fucking life Because it’s in an immense amount of pain as you would be if a searing hot knife cut through your flesh as well *Screaming* *Pig Vs. thousand degree knife* Experiment, a thousand degree knife Vs. Deez nuts (Ha, forced meme) Now this challenge has been all over Youtube for quite awhile Usually in diffrent forms now one gave a fuck about Until uh, ya boi MrGear Everyone’s ex Spetsnaz operative Came along the scene and did a thousand degree knife Vs. Coca Cola I-I’ve actually gotta check how many views it’s at at the moment, I gotta open the tab I left my computer on for 40 minutes and it’s already got about two million views In the space- *Breaths* It’s on *Insert number of views there here* views at the moment Not happy Not happy Youtube Jesus Christ Now the channel Mr. Gear did a bunch of random stuff like How to make stuff and prank people Usually he dosn’t talk in the video Probably due to his immense social anxiety And the fact he is a possible pyromaniac *Pyro tries to look like the hottest character in Overwatch* *unSubscribe from Dolan Dark* The Videos were originally quiet but as they went on he started adding really shitty EDM royalty free dubstep I-it’s a real fucking travesty to be honest *Just imagine the worst thing possible* Now a lot of you my be thinking “Pyro, y-you’re speaking with jealousy” “This man m-m-makes more in ten seconds than you do in your entire life” *Breathes* shut the fuck up ok *Breaking down* Shut the- Shhhut the fuck up cunt It is quite a travesty though I wish we could back to the days of uh, MLG videos (SHREK HAS SWAG, MLG TELETUBBIES) Ah, t-those were the days, those- Only-only uh, 90s kids Now obviously as Mr.Gear went on with these horrible videos Where the knife for some reason gets more and more hotter In each thumbnail And he uses a different knife in the video but keeps the same knife in the thumbnail A lot of people picked up “Holy shit this is going to get me views” “I better do it” A lot of big Youtubers have been doing it as well *War flashbacks* A lot of them flat out lie in the video as well (You can read) Even though the coldest temperature possible is -273 degrees Celsius *Shock horror* ok The chance of a content cop on Pyro has just gone up tenfold I mean to be fair I’m a fuckin’ hypocrite I’ve basically lied with the title of this video Uh I wasn’t meant to say that now ’cause you’ll probably click off So as I’ve briefly explained The thousand degree knife experiment has gone completely out of control A-a lot of people complained about Saturday Night Live or The Young Turks makin’ trending Nahnahnahnahnah Now the knife challenge is the new thing to complain about And honestly it is fucking terrible Like, I understand this little Russian man that can’t speak a single word in his little Russian village He finds a GoPro cuts open a bunch of stuff I-I’m very happy for him *👌* congratulations You know Ca- Fuck sake again, fuck sake *👌👌👌👌👌* *👌 👌 👌 👌 👌* Now I’m not one to get all preachy here but I’m pretty sure it’s quite infuriating for a lot of content creators to, you know Focus hard on their craft, on their videos, doing Youtube for numerous years and then *Cough* A-a mute Russian man come onto the scene and, makes more money than your entire fucking family tree ever made You know you got royalty? Your family tree got like a-a Finnish or a-a-a Danish King or Empress? Fuck them Mr. Gear makes more money in 5 seconds than their entire empire of teabags ever had Do you think stabbed by this you’ll turn gay? So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls All fans of 10 minute ad revenue I got my friends (kek) together and we recorded our very own One thousand degree knife challenge Vs. an actual human being And yes I alreaady know Ricegum did it first shut the fuck up *Comedy spastic gamer intro* *Knocking from the door* B A N T E R What the fuck? Who the fuck are you? Ya’ heard of them *haa* One thousand degree knife challenges Y-you cu- you could be a millionaire y-you cut a ping pong ball? A deck of cards? Cut Pussy? *Sexually repressed* *Dying* *Pyro thinks he can get play of the game* Local pig man assaults pedestrian W-who the fuck is that? *Depression himself awakens* *Drowns Sorrows* *Attempts drowning self* Fosters – Good call. You alright cunt? *cans rattling* *Australian pig threatens small Russian boy* *Russian boy yelling* Keemstar: Leeeeeeet’s…. *Sniveling and crying* Theyaskyouhowyouareandyoujusthavetosaythatyou’refine You like that? You little bitch boy. ‘Ello everyone, I’m Alex Pyro: Alex, you want to help me this bitch boy to the garage? Alex: ‘Ello everyone I’m Alex *Wicked witch of the west melting scenes* Oh please, not the knife videos! ♫ R. Kelly – Ignition (Remix) ♫ [slow] *Man dying on camera* So that’s pretty much the end of the video, I hope you enjoyed it’s basically the first kind of skit that’s been uploaded to the channel So sorry if it’s not Filthy Frank level production quality, it is my first attempt Hopefully I won’t be seeing it on any cringe compilations anytime soon I hope not, I bet I get lots of fanart though, Roadhog fanart. I’m not joking. I really want 2017 to be a year where my channel can develop and become more personality based And thank you to everyone who has been sticking with me from whenever the fuck you subscribed Whether it was a couple years ago when I was doing MLG to about 5 minutes ago because you just watched this video it’s really appreciated Also, much love to everyone that participated in that skit everyone did such an amazing job I’ll be leaving links to everyone down in the description Also thanks Elemental Knifes for letting us use their knifes to cause grievous bodily harm to people it’s much appreciated I think this is the first sponsored video I’ve done, so you can definitely tell 2017 is starting in the BEST. WAY. POSSIBLE. Also one final thing. In about four days time I’m gonna be having my entire room changed Gonna get a proper back drop, a proper set up Everything is gonna look real fucking Casey Neistat So, apologies if I upload some shorter videos, or no videos at all in the coming days there’s a lot of shit I’m doing because I-I just want to change things up y’know *wheeze* I feel like YouTube is all about changing and if I do the same stuff over and over and over It’ll just get fucking stale so I feel that changing the environment around me, Is hopefully gonna change my content. And this skit has hopefully shown you that content is getting marginally better over time and I’ve got no one else to thank, but you yourself. (uwu thanks daddo) Thanks a lot guys and I hope you all have a great 2017 Whitewoods – Beachwalk (FUNNY POST-VIDEO GOOF)
*coughing* Fuck’s sake